Kids writing about the ocean

Since being in grad school for elementary ed, I have heard a ton of shocking and funny stories of things kids have said and/or done in the classroom. I'm sure these are just the first of billions I will hear and (hopefully) experience in my life time.

The other day, one of my professors forwarded us a funny email titled "Children Writing About The Ocean"...

-Here is my picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6)

-Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6)

-If you are surrounded by ocean you are an island. If you don't have ocean all round you, you
are incontinent. (Wayne , age 7)

-Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend
any more. (Kylie, age 6)

-A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy, age 8)

-When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes when
the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they
would have been better off eating beans. (William, age 7 )

-Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful and I like their shiny tails,
but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like, really? (Helen, age 6)

-I'm not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is always crying, my Dad keeps
yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write.
(Amy, age 6)

-Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to
live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers.
(Christopher, age 7)

-When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small.
(Kevin, age 6)

-The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don't drown, I don't know..
(Bobby, age 6)

-My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean. What he doesn't know is
why he quit being a sailor and married my mom. (James, age 7)

Gotta love kids.